By: Riley Fortier, M.Ed.
What are love languages?
The term “love languages” comes from Gary Chapman in his 1992 book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. In this book, it outlines five general ways that romantic partners can express and experience love and appreciation.
What are the love languages?
Acts of Service
For these people, actions speak louder than words. Taking out the trash, cooking dinner, or doing a task for them that they’ve been putting off is what makes them feel appreciated.
Words of Affirmation
This love language uses words, either verbal or written, to express their love and appreciation. This could look like verbally saying things like, “I’m proud of you,” “I love you,” or “You’re doing such a good job with
[X].” Or this could look like leaving little love notes on sticky notes around the house to remind them of how much you care.
For some people, receiving a heartfelt or thoughtful gift is what makes them feel loved. This doesn’t have to be something large or expensive. This could be something small that made you think of them, like a knick knack or a pin.
To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than touch. This could be in the form of cuddling, hand holding, a massage, or sexual activity.
People who’s love language is quality time need your undivided attention to feel loved and cared for. This doesn’t necessarily mean just watching a movie, because likely you’re not talking and one of you is on your phone. This could be something like cooking together, or doing a new activity together, where both of you are in the moment with each other.
Why is learning your partner(s)’ love languages important?
It’s important to learn and use your partner’s love languages so that they feel loved! If you’re keen on gift giving, but your partner needs physical touch to feel connected and cared for, you can adjust so that your partner is getting what they need too! This can also go in the opposite direction. Your partner can also give you love in the way that feels best to you.
Take the love languages quiz HERE.